From Boy to Shoremen

I have been struggling through---mom's illness, career challenges, self acceptance, parenthood, childhood, peaks and valleys, waxes and wanes, highs and lows---on the roller coaster of life at age 50. I have never been a fan of roller coasters. I find my own thrills unfold when least expected. I have never sought them out.
With more and more days spent in hospitals or doctor offices waiting for blood counts and cat scan results it is easy to sink into despair. But along with those dark days comes the yearning for and
appreciation of good days filled with smiles and laughter.  Don't get me wrong, there is love, unconditional love on all days but lately I have been oh so needing a good day.
On Saturday, the temperatures rose and the sun shone as we crossed the shore from west to east coast of the Chesapeake Bay, on our way to our beloved Chestertown.  We have made this trip a hundred times but never with this much anticipation. For today was JD, our second born son's, Senior Day.
Only other sports families can truly grasp what the day represents.  In a family with a lacrosse history such as ours, the day represented the hard work of a father who passed on the skill and love of a game called lacrosse.  The day represented the love of a Mother who never played a sport in her life but cheers every move of her son on the field, and prays the rosary fervently for every minute of the regulation game clock.  This father and mother  cheer, cry, worry, sweat, and sigh with relief when they see their son happy on the field.  These parents recall the countless hot summer tournaments, hours of sitting at practices, bruises and breaks, victories and defeats of the past 15 seasons. On Senior Day it is an acknowledgement of the commitment of the player who was launched to play on his own when he stepped on the field as a college freshman.

Our player, JD, has never disappointed us. He has been a success off the field with excellent grades, a good character, and ability to learn from his mistakes and a phenomenal college career with his passion: lacrosse. He just works hard. All the time.
JD played the game of his career helping his team to defeat a conference foe for the first time in twelve years.  He played his heart out scoring, scooping, smiling!  It was pure joy swelling from our hearts to watch it unfold.  The accolades came and they were well deserved by our #5.  Wasn't it just yesterday that we bought that first lacrosse stick and he looked like a bobble head on the field with that tiny body and big helmet?  We love you Justin Donald and are so proud of you!

 

 

 

                                              Centennial Conference Player of the Week

Snow Day

Thank you Mother Nature for the gift of snow resulting in the closing of schools. I don't normally wish for these as many of you know. Hmmm work now or work in June.....I say now! But today is an exception. Today feels like a gift seems I am fighting an ugly upper respiratory infection and recovering from a decision to put my kids first and myself last. Again.  So Karma is good and I am thankful for this day of recovery and rest. A peaceful snow day.

Peaceful. Snow day.

In the past these words would have never coexisted in my world. Snow days meant digging and unearthing packed away long johns, water repellent gloves, boots, those hats with only eye and mouth holes.  Snow days meant stuffing my kids into so many layers and then sticking their plastic baggie covered feet into hand me down boots too tight. Snow days meant the drier would run many cyles all day long. Snow days, the days other moms said, "NO kids in the house!" While I scraped together healthy, gourmet meals chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, for what seemed like the entire neighborhood. Snow days, when I filled squirt bottles with colored water and watched the white wonderland go technicolor.  Snow days, when the begging ceased and I finally drove them to CCBC to do "the hill." Snow days when I finally got dressed and went out to help build a snowman to only be told, "We have to do the whole family!" And did I mention that we have THE longest driveway in Patapsco Woods and no snow blower? Snow days were anything but peaceful. Snow days were absolutely exhausting.


The Campbell Snowman Family
 



adding oranges and cranberries to the tree for the birds

  

Ahhhh but today is different. Today is peaceful! Today I blog, finally time to blog.  Today I get lost on Pinterest, without guilt. Today I catch up on Pretty Little Liars with my daughter. What? It is an inappropriate show for her you say? I am old. I am entertained. I pick my battles. Today I add this years pages to the Campbell Family Christmas photo album. Today I bake and moan at how good chocolate chip scones taste on a cold, windy day. Today I get a little buzzed on Robitussin and don't worry about driving. Today my kids can dress themselves. And my driveway is still clear. It is fun to look back at the photos. Allison's expression when she stood with her complete family of snowmen. Brent and Justin's fun in the snow. But I also love the here and now! Thank you Mother Nature. Life is so, so sweet!

Bringing up Boys

Of all the roles I play: wife, daughter, teacher, counselor, neighbor, sister and friend; the one I cherish most is simply "mom."  In my recent new role as school counselor, I find myself interacting with so many young parents seeking solutions, support and structure. The best I can do is offer sincerity.  I counsel them from the gut. From the 22 years that I have spent raising my children, two of which are sons, I have learned so much.  Their childhood was my blissdom. They were "mommy's boys," and loved me like no other. They learned a ton from their father, who has given them the best example of what a husband and father should be, BUT it was me that they snuggled with. It was me that dried their tears. It was me that helped them  put the finishing touches on their school projects, decorate their rooms, shop for whatever it was they were wanting at bargain prices. It was me that danced around the house and surrendered with them to complete ridiculous bouts of silliness.  I was their girl and they were my boys!      Sigh.     Fast forward 22 years later. They are now men.  They are making their own way in this world. And a grown up world it is. They are both experiencing life lessons of serious magnitude at this time as they journey through college, careers and relationships. Just like me, they make some wise and unwise choices. This is not easy to watch.  It is true---the bigger the kid, the bigger the problems. It used to be so simple to help them fix their problems. A missing Star Wars Lego. A broken lacrosse head. A crush on a girl that wasn't reciprocated. Life is grown up now and I cannot fix things all of the time for them and that is hard. I know they are moving on, growing up and out,  but at times I want to go back. I miss the sloppy kisses, sticky fingers, them falling asleep on my lap, a flower picked from the field, and the daily hugs...most of all the hugs. But I am proud of the men they have become. They take responsibility, they show initiative, they are kind to others, they are funny, they are smart and they are MINE.  My favorite book to read to them when they were little was Robert Munsch's sappy but sweet, I'll Love you for Always. In the book the mother holds her newborn baby boy and sings:

Then it shows her as an older lady sneaking into her grown son's room and holding him as a man and singing the same song. My boys used to laugh themselves silly at that part. Well can I tell you? That song has never sounded sweeter to me than it does right now! My love for these men of mine is enduring.

I Am Ready!

Christmas Card Photo 2011

Every year, I swear that "This will be the year!" The year that I am ready on time for Christmas. I mean it is not like I don't know it is coming. I mean I do have an entire year to prepare.  I think a couple of key events happened to cause this Christmas miracle. First, I read an entry, in what has now become one of my favorite books: Simple Abundance, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, which simply stated that "For every YES, let there be a NO." Really? Can one actually say NO? You see, I have never been good at saying NO so I just rarely ever did!  But this suggestion of just saying one NO for every YES resonated with me. More surprising, is that I actually started practicing this new and absurd philosophy and guess what? I had a little more time in my schedule but wasn't guilty because I was still saying YES some of the time! Coupled with this revelation, was my own realization and daily reminder that Christmas is a season, NOT a day.  By looking at it in this way, I have been able to really enjoy the preparations and events...instead of obligingly working my way through it all! Finally, and perhaps most importantly I discovered a little online holiday organizing system via Punchbowl. To say that it helped me get my shit together prepared is an understatement. The timeline and email reminders made it all possible.  So here I sit, five full days out, listening to carols and I am ready! Baking: check! Shopping: check! Cards: check! Wrapping: check! Praying: ongoing!  I am looking forward to dinner out with old friends tomorrow evening. Another dinner out with family on Friday evening and finally Christmas Eve and Day with my most beloved. I am blessed and grateful, although still slightly irritated that I work for a school system that remains open through Friday December 23rd at 3:40....uggh!  Merriest of Christmases to you and yours!

While I Wasn't Looking......

Farewell Summer of 2011! I am not sorry to see you end. It was a summer of sickness, surgeries, and sadness for us. Not every summer can be full of carefree, casual days and relaxing, restful nights. Some are spent not at Camden Yards but in our own yards, dealing with the curveballs that life throws at us and running bases for extra innings just to lose....
BUT some wonderful things happened while I wasn't looking! The first born bouncing baby boy turned 22 and became a grateful graduate of Elizabethtown College. The wild middle child lived the summer of his dreams at Ocean City MD and The cute little girl in the house transformed into a pretty pretean full of strong-willed personality and pleasure for her mother. The kitchen transformed from a gingham and laminate covered 80's special to a sleek, upscale, gorgeous culinary suite!  Had the time this summer been mine, I am sure that I would have perseverated over every little decision and detail. But with real life priorities consuming my time, the kitchen proceeded and turned out to be my dream kitchen just the same!

Love that wallpaper!

There is a huge wall in our way---

So very 1980's!

I still have to pinch myself! Is this my house?

The tile: Diagonal Don's Design

The Granite: Denise's pick...it was all about the movement for me!

Gorgeous work completed by WALL TO WALL CONSTRUCTION

We are enjoying the new kitchen so very much. The kitchen is absolutely the heart of the home for this Italian girl, and I have been baking and creating with a new vim and vigor! The old kitchen was just as great. I mean afterall, this was where I gave baby Allison her fast bath, where the boys tore open their college acceptance letters, where I sat and cried over many difficulties and also sat and laughed with family and friends at every birthday and holiday. As I look around, I let myself imagine what future adventures will fill this new space with memories and smiles!

See you on the other side Soupy!

Soupy, Pete, Donald, Dad Dad, Sarge, Don, Dad! So many names to match the many different sets of people who loved him.
I lost my own father when I was 16 to a hard fought battle with Leukemia so when I fell in love with Don, I was thrilled to have a father figure in my life again. We had a great 22 years together. I like to cook and he was the best cook/baker I have ever known since my Dad passed away. They were two of a kind in that way. You know, the throw in a bit of this and a pinch of that kind of cook that only time spent cooking on a Navy ship can teach. Dad C made the best stuffing I have ever savored. So last November, seems I had taken over the Thanksgiving dinner, I asked if we could prepare it together. I mean he had it written down but I am a visual learner. So we spent several hours in his kitchen together and I learned the nuances that go into making that delicious turkey stuffing. It is so much more than ingredients: it is the way you cut the bread and let it stale. It is the way you cook the sausage and bacon and then use that same grease to saute the celery. (Hey, I never said it was healthy!) I keep thinking back to that day together and so many other wonderful memories of my father-in law. He was a master story teller. He was a devoted husband. He was a loving father. He was a funny and wise daddad to my kids. He was colorful yet gentle. He was a problem solver. He was a protector. He was a true patriarch in every way and our family now has a huge void gaping hole. On Tuesday night about two hours after we said goodbye to this giant of a man, we had gathered at my mother in laws home and the roof shook and an overwhelming sound of rain quieted us all. We ran to the window to watch a thunderous downpour that stopped almost as soon as it started. We all just looked at each other and I turned and cried. "He is there! He made it to heaven. He wanted us to know he got there!' We all agreed especially the next day when others in Catonsville said that it hadn't rained at their house that night before. Oh, he is in heaven all right! He and our girl Meghan and my Dad as well. Can you smell that? Yup, smells just like celery sauteing in a pan of bacon fat.....mmm!

On turning 48...

It is funny that about a month ago, I was dreading this birthday. It seems that every time I finish up a decade of my life, I swear that the next, upcoming decade, will be the best one yet: The 20's were when we were going to travel...not! The 40's were supposed to be my time to get fit and feel better....not! You get the idea. So of course with the 50's coming up I have reflected on the 40's and back. I was thinking about all of the things I hadn't accomplished or the disappointments of those years. WHY? When did I become the "glass half empty girl?" All my life, I have been complimented on my optimism and love of life! As I have sat in the hospital with my failing mother (just 73 years old) the past two weeks, I have had a complete reversal in thinking. My God, how lucky am I to even be celebrating a birthday? To have lived and loved on this Earth for 48 years? Sitting with mom has put it all in perspective. I have experienced so much happiness over the years and it had nothing to do with what my age was or what decade I was in! I haven't traveled the globe but I have journeyed through such moments of pure love with my family. I have explored and challenged my intellectual self by continuing my education. I do not have a passport but I have lifeport filled with treasured conversations, memories and experiences. I am the luckiest and most blessed 48 year old I know! The big 50 coming up....hell yeah! Bring it!

Ravens, Royalty and Reefer

Welcome to Bmore Jimmy Smith!

Well it has been a crazy 18 hours for me. I had to stay up late to see who my beloved Ravens took in the first round of the NFL draft. Much to our amazement Jimmy Smith, an amazing, 6'2" reefer loving cornerback was still there. From the looks of Jimmy's photo he will fit right in with our Ravens. Hey, it's not like we haven't had to offer a little player reforming in the past! I like him already....just look at his swagger! Went to bed at midnight.





David Beckham is smokin' hot!!!!!!

Woke up at 5 AM to get my Royalty on! Wow is all I can say. I loved every minute of it. It seems the twentysomethings don't "get it."    I "got it" in 1981 when I was almost a twentysomething and got up to watch Lady Di and Charles. This wedding seemed way cooler to me. Loved the convertable ride to the reception that William planned. And Kate really seemed to be having fun! Beatrice and Eugenie were over the top and I loved their ensembles. I am sure you can tell from the photo that David and I had a wonderful time. I am so honored to have been able to attend such a historical event.
But I must say I am a little tired so I think I shall nap.
Signed, Lady Margaret Muffin Brandford 
(no! that is not my stripper name too)



Just the Girl I Ordered!

Allison Margaret: The girl I ordered!

I won't disclose when, in order to protect the innocent, but recently a "Mental Health" Day was taken by the Campbell Girls!  Allison is the best daughter and such good company. She has spent the better part of this spring her life being shuttled to her brothers' games and events. So it was with great pleasure that I spent a day with the girl of my life. I let her sleep in till 9! Then we watched some "What Not to Wear" episodes. Next, we went to the State Park and took an unintentional 6 mile hike. (Thought that trail was shorter!)



A photo of our shadow from the swinging bridge!

 Bought new nail polish at CVS and painted our toes. We finished the day with a trip to Opies for our first snowball of the season. It was a wonderful day filled with honest conversation, genuine laughs, and limitless love. I have often been overheard saying that Allison "is not the girl I ordered!" I mean she is such a tomboy, hates pink, and prefers to roughhouse with her brothers than to craft with her mother. But I love her more than life itself. She has been such a gift to this family and is actually JUST THE GIRL I ORDERED!

I love Craigslist!

Now you see it, now you don't! I sold a car on CL in exactly 3.5 hours. This car doesn't even run! I think it is karma because we bought Brent's car off of CL and that worked out too! Last year we demolished an entire brick and concrete patio and guess what....I put all the broken up crap on Craigs and people came and took it by the truckload....you know why? Because it was FREE! I often check the "wanted" section on CL and have made some nice pocket change selling some of my stuff that others need! We may not even need a dumpster for the kitchen demo....might just put it all on CL!
So yeah, it is true, I LOVE CRAIGSLIST!

Bye Bye Volvo!    http://baltimore.craigslist.org/cto/2316589016.html

There Goes the Honey Do List

No Government Shutdown!
Good news: We will have money to continue paying our massive tuition bills.
Bad news: My  honey do list for Don will have to wait.



Don's Furlough To Do List:

• Strip the ktichen wallpaper
• landscape the side yard before Brent's graduation
• Sell the dead Volvo that has been sitting in our driveway for a year
• Steam clean the carpets in the entire house
• Go to the dump
• Clean the garage
• Shred all that stuff that needs shredding

He would have done all of this and more. He is a very good "To do list crosser off-er." Damn that Federal Government!!!

My Wounded Warrior

Brent #2 with his jersey and without!

My oldest is a college senior and captain of his lacrosse team. He has been playing through the pain of a shoulder that continues to dislocate. He will have his third shoulder surgery after graduation.  As his mother, protective and prayerful, I would not be unhappy if he sat out the rest of the season. As his mother, patient and proud, I support his decision to play through the pain. Today was a wonderful day for my wounded warrior. He won 10 out of 14 of his faceoffs! The smile on his face with his teammates after the winning game really tells the whole story. This Son of mine: He loves life. He loves lacrosse. And because of his passion---I love him!

I Deserve This.....



The 1980's kitchen at the Campbell House! Yes, that is gingham wallpaper and laminate countertops!

 Buyers remorse is already setting in and we have only just purchased the appliances for our kitchen remodel! What will I feel like after meeting with the cabinet designer tonight? This will be the largest home project we have taken on...ever! But I deserve this. I work hard, really hard and I have been raising an awesome family in this sub par kitchen of mine for long enough!!! After perseverating over the brand of appliance, which by the way was soooo stressful, we are now off to choose cabinetry. I have polled my friends, peeked and prodded at their cabinets and am so overwhelmed.  I mean the drawers that close themselves are nice but really? Really!? If my kids don't even have to close the drawers for themselves it is going to go from bad to worse in this house! I have a mantra for tonight: FOCUS ON FUNCTION! I know I might melt when I see the bubbled glass front display door options BUT I need a slide out spice rack and dividers for my bake ware cabinet. I MUST STAY FOCUSED! But that said, if you have a kitchen cabinet that you just cannot live without, leave me a comment so I might consider!

Nothing Personal Laos

"Suh Bye Dee" Laos!
Nothing personal, really! You are a fascinating country. Who knew that everything I ever say about "karma" originated with you? Who knew that in the cold war you were so precious to battling US and Russia?
Who knew the whole "white elephant" thing was yours to claim? BUT I need to be cleaning the house, or putting up my spring decorations, or completing my Hopkin's coursework instead of helping Allison with this report!
But now that I know...I will be cheering for you in the next Olympics. Do you play lacrosse in Laos?


Oh! so that is where those famous monks in orange robes live!!!!



The Campbell Girls have a CRUSH!

We are American Idol fans but never as much as we are this season! Allison and I have a huge crush on Paul! My daughter is not your typical Justin Beiber tweener...she has taste!
Please vote for our boy!

Paul McDonald

Rain, Rain go away

When you have three children playing the spring sport of lacrosse, cold and damp rain is not your friend. Between February first and May 15th we will have traveled to 5 states to see our three children play in over 45 games at the rec and ncaa levels.  Only laxers understand this insanity. Last night, my husband received a nomination for father of the year. You see he sat in the freezing (literally) rain for hours waiting to see the freshman son play in his game. Then came the hour and half rain delay. Did I mention he was over two hours from home? So he got home at midnight and left for work at 5 AM.  He really is such a wonderful  father.


Justin JD Campbell Washington College Shoreman #5